As seen from Paul's eyes....
Copyright 2014 by Paul Willey
I had a MS diagnoses for years and I
am technically labeled a tetraplegic (same as quadriplegic) because of partial
paralysis of all four limbs, I usually need some assistance but we try to spend
as much time as possible living at our off grid camp on Millinocket Lake in
T1R8, Maine.
We always knew there was some
inherent risk with me staying in here with its snowmobile only access during
the winter months; MS isn't my only medical condition. Neither the dramatic change in both of our
lives on that day before Nor’easter Nemo would hit in February 2013. I found myself trying to help Lori-Ann prepare
for the blizzard by trying to hooking the Ranger up to the plow, to her having
to use every bit of her strength to get me to into bed, where I would lie
unable to move for the next 48 hours....
As shocked, as I was that it
happened, only with foresight, did I realize how the warning signs were there
all along, especially in the 3-4 years prior.
1. I was losing my ability to
push through things. Projects or ideas of things I wanted to accomplish
around camp were piling up around camp. It
was getting harder and harder for me to get around. I could no longer fish the stream at all, even
on my best days, and my "good" morning time, had faded away. A
time of day when I knew I could always count on being able to get things done. I relied more and more on Lori-Ann doing
things. We lost a GREAT ice shack due to
it freezing in the ice in 2012. We built
the shack back in 2004, but we had to buy a commercial one to replace it as I
knew it was beyond my realm of abilities to help Lori-Ann make a new one. Other projects Lori-Ann wanted me to hire
out, because she couldn't do them alone with her back, but I refused because I
kept refusing to admit that things were more permanent.
2. I'd been complaining to
the doctors about muscle spasms usually on my left side. They were increasing over the years, making
it more difficult to breathe, reach, and move, and the episodes were increasing
and lasting longer and longer. More
muscle relaxers ware the answer, but I rarely took them, because hated the
extra drowsiness. Other pain types
increased as well, and the cure for those was a seizure medication that did
help.
3. During this time frame, my
cognitive ability had dropped, and it was apparent to us. We would tell the examiners what was changing
with me. Every year, the VA tests me because
MS can affect cognitive ability. However,
normally when I took aptitude test, I always tested very high. For example, I took the National Teachers
Exam when at one point when I was thinking of getting out of the Army despite
only having six actual college classes and placed in the 98th percentile. I would explain to them, I went from being
able to always being able to multiply triple digit numbers in my head up until
a few years ago to using a calculator for routine math, which is very
frustrating for me. Nevertheless, the
testers would say, “Even though you are noticing changes, you are still way
ahead of the rest of us". Those
words came to me last in January of 2013.
As if fate or intervention stepped
in along the way, we decided that in the spring of 2013 we were going to make a
road trip to see our son Joshua in Hollywood and it was time to get a new
accessible vehicle as well, so in Oct. 2012 we started that process as well. The old van was on its last leg, and the ramp
was unsafe. The van came in around the
first week of January 2013, and off we headed to camp for another winter.
We finally get to camp and look
forward to spending a good two months of winter seclusion before heading on the
road trip around the country. In the
mean time I notice the episodes of spasms in my side are getting worse and
worse, I am feeling more and more as if I have broken ribs and split open sides
after we do anything. Our days of Ice
fishing are relatively short, and I have to spend days recovering. I cannot remember if we actually went two
days in a row, but if we did, the second day was very short. I was starting to notice my right side
starting to get involved more and more.
January 28, 2013 was supposed was
supposed to be relatively warm that night, and clear so we decided to sleep out
in the ice shack. It was supposed to be
15 degrees, and like fools, we didn't insulate the bottom of the air mattress
from the cold of the Ice. We checked the traps, but after each hour, they
took a LOT of effort to free them from the Ice. The actual temp back at
camp was -6, it was probably much colder out on the open lake. Both of my sides were in severe spasms and I
could barely breathe that night. Instead of spending another day Ice
fishing, we decided to call it quits shortly after sunrise as I was in too much
pain. I had to drive extremely slow back
to camp and thought I would never make it back here.
I took the extra muscle relaxers and
rested up for a few days as the spasms relaxed.
We made it back ice fishing February 1st and 3rd though. Before I needed a few more days rest. Then Nemo was in the forecast for February
9th.
The blizzard was supposed to keep most of its fury south of here, but we wanted to be ready. So, we started to prepare in the morning of February 8th. I was already having spasms on both my sides that day from our typical 16-mile loop simple snowmobile ride out to the snowmobile club to meet up with our good friends Bob Hope the evening before for a supper.
I wasn't thinking quite clear when I
went to put the plow on. It's a simple drive up operation, auto mount.
Just hold a rocker switch and it mounts the on plow. I crawled into the Ranger. Drove up to the plow PERFECTLY aligned. Crawled out and the rocker switch didn't work. My spasms are increasing, and I'm fighting to
breath and move and I am feeling the spasms in my legs now. I hit the toggle switch, NOTHING... there is
no power to the plow. I look under the hood. Fuse is good. I have no I try two more times. Nothing. I barely make it back to the camp where
Lori-Ann is inside getting something. I tell her I need her to get me
undressed quick and get me to bed because I am not going to be able to move
soon. This is something 100 percent new
to me. I've been stuck in bed, but not
because my body is totally seized up. In the past I was able to go to the bathroom with assistance, but not this time.
(As a side note, we did still
make the road trip, and during it I was thinking about the plow and I told
Lori-Ann, I don't think I had the Ranger running when I tried to mount the
plow, and yes in fact that was the problem)
So I take more meds and just try to
relax assuming the spasms will subside in a few hours so I can resume our
normal lives. After several hours, I still
can't move. At this point I start taking
maximum prescribed dosages of my meds, still no relief. The next morning. STILL not one bit of
improvement. Totally immobile.
My thought process is this. "Nemo is here and there are other people
out in civilization that may need help that could be in a car accident, a house
fire, or whatever it may be. IF Nemo
wasn't here I would call for medical help, BUT "I" willingly and
knowingly put myself in this situation, knowing my medical condition, knowing I
am always at risk needing rescue. "I"
don't want to be responsible for delaying rescue to someone else so I will wait
until after the storm is over."
So, I look up online for maximum
dosages of my medications, and carefully use them as a treatment guide in hopes
of relief. All I need to be able to do
is get out of bed, so I can get on a Snowmobile come Sunday morning.
Nothing…
I am trying to time calling for a
rescue, to include Lori-Ann taking everything out to the truck.
I expect 2 hours. After all,
it is snowmobile only, and whenever we've had to call non-rescue type
authorities in here when they could drive in. The on-scene response time
has varied from 2 hours to never in the past.
I can't remember when I called; I
think it was around 1PMish. Lori-Ann did
everything she could do at camp, to include draining all the water supplies,
shutting off all the power she could for the time being, setting up the extra
security, towing in the ice fishing shack by herself from the lake, etc, etc,
and was already making her first packing run out to the truck.
Upon her return I heard other
voices. It was just an hour and the
rescue squad was already with her! I was
in shock! When she returned from the
truck, they were already at what we call the "4 corners". They were able to follow her in via
snowmobile the rest of the way into camp.
It was Mark and Heidi Evers. I explained to them why I didn't call the day
before was essentially, that with my medical history "I" put myself
in a high-risk situation during the storm.
While they didn't scold me in any way, sort, or form. They both assured me that they don't feel
that way and I shouldn't either. They
assured me that they appreciate rescuing someone that's trying to make the best
of life despite their struggles. They had appreciative nods and there was
no need to go into any details. Even
though I still don't know if a repeat event happens, if I'd do anything
different, the sentiment and true emotion behind what they said still brings a
tear to my eye one year later as I type this.
I don't remember a lot from the
actual evacuation and emergency room stay. I remembered a lot of
medications. They managed to get me on a
stretcher, out of the bedroom and out of the camp and into a rescue sled. I JUST remembered they put my snowmobile
helmet on me. I was packed VERY tightly
in the newly acquired rescue sled by Millinocket, and I definitely did not have
a room with a view. It was a smooth trip out and there was a place for
Mark to sit as Heidi drove and towed us out.
Lori-Ann stayed behind to finish packing up the second load and finish
winterizing the camp, (We thought she'd have time to finish that while we were
still waiting for them to show). I was
already in the ER. When Lori-Ann arrived.
I didn't get a chance to see them, but I remember Hope MacDonald and
Nancy Davis stopped by as well, and Lori-Ann had a chance to talk with them.
